"Leaving the Priesthood". Are these words to be taken literally or is it just a case of semantics? I was always taught that the essence of the priesthood is "engraved" as it were into the very soul of the priest so that no one, not even the Roman Catholic Church can take it away. In the Code
of Canon Law, Canon number 290 it says: "Once validly ordained, sacred ordination never becomes invalid." There is no such thing as an ex-priest or a former priests. There are only priests who left the active ministry either of the Roman Catholic Church or outside of it.
.From Active Priests
“The priesthood is like marriage. You are wedded to the Church and you don’t
just leave.”
A response:
Equating marriage and the priesthood is a common but mistaken practice in the Church. Marriage entails love between two people. The love in mandated celibacy is supposedly between the priest and Christ or the priest and the Church, but this love does not require celibacy. A person may wish to be celibate as a symbol of their commitment, but it is not “marriage”.
In marriage, the spouse is in a position to look behind the curtain of their loved one's life, speak truth to them and challenge hurtful and insensitive behavior. Who looks behind the curtain of the celibate’s life and speaks truth to them? Who challenges them to charity and sensitivity, when their behavior is hurtful? Without this accountability, what kind of “marriage” is that? From my experience in the priesthood, few if anyone challenge “Father”, unless it’s serious enough for the Bishop to get involved.
Here we see why celibacy was born and nurtured within a monastic community where the celibate was in an intense relationship with others. The analogy of marriage in this setting may be more credible.
For several years, I lived my celibate priesthood in a rural congregation and alone in a rectory where I had to drive thirty miles to visit another priest. I found living as a young celibate in that situation to be lonely and painful. Having a marital companion would have been far more rational and humane.
If marriage is an analogy, then so is divorce. A spouse in an abusive relationship finds divorce to bring freedom and peace. Similarly, priests required to live in an abusive relationship with an irrational and authoritative Church also find freedom and peace when they leave. Both "divorces" are understandable and under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Henry
